Even after you've hired a wonderful childcare provider, you may still feel a little anxious about leaving your little ones with someone other than yourself all day. Monitoring the relationship is a critical part of making sure your sitter is the right fit for your family and making sure you can actually function at work without all the worry.

As the founder and CEO of Sittercity.com and author of Love at First Sit, I always recommend this simple, effective three-step screening process to keep tabs on your care provider.

STEP 1: ASSESS THE MATCH

Pay attention to the sitter's relationship with your children. Here are a few signs that she might not be the best match: 

• Sitter has a different view on discipline than you and is reluctant to change
• Child doesn't seem very interested in the sitter when she arrives
• Sitter lacks energy or enthusiasm
• Sitter develops a patronizing attitude toward you or your parenting preferences

Some warning signs can indicate something much more serious than a simple mismatch:

• Sitter blames the child for problems he didn't cause
• Sitter demands perfect behavior
• Child's behavior changes drastically (becomes excessively clingy or aggressive)
• Child cries, screams and begs you not to leave
• Child develops unexplained bruises, cuts or burns
• Child loses his appetite or has recurrent nightmares

STEP 2: COMMUNICATE

Talk to your sitter.  Set aside 15 minutes each month to call your sitter and discuss how everything's been going from her perspective.

•  Do you find yourself running into any obstacles when I'm gone?
•  How has my child's behavior been in general?
•  Do you have any concerns about my child or about the job itself?

Talk to your children.  Ask gentle, open-ended questions to help get your children talking. Don't try to lead your child or talk him out of any feelings.

•  Did you and [sitter] play today? What did you play?
•  What was your favorite part of the day
•  Tell me about something silly or funny that happened.
•  Did anything make you worried or sad today?

STEP 3: OBSERVE

• Ask a neighbor to keep an open eye and ear. When the sitter takes the kids outside, for example, your neighbor can peek over to make sure things are going well.
• Come home unannounced, perhaps for lunch. An unexpected drop-in will put you smack-dab in the middle of the sitter/child relationship and will help keep your sitter on her toes.
• Install a nanny cam. The most diligent parents I've seen use a nanny cam to alleviate their fears or confirm their suspicions. Many nanny cam services have live feeds that you can watch on your computer or cell phone while you work. Sittercity will soon offer this feature, especially useful for working moms.

How does your sitter or nanny seem to be fitting in with your family?