The holidays can be a confusing time in new relationships, particularly on the topic of gift giving. Here’s how to sort out the confusion and make your gift exchange stress-free and fun. These ideas can also help you with gift giving at the office.

Are you dating someone new - less than six months? Are you wondering what kind of gift to give, and what to expect? Here are some basic guidelines to help you decide appropriate gift giving in new dating relationships.

First, make an assessment: how involved are we at this point? Have you said “I love you”? Are you sleeping together, exclusive? Are you talking about your future, meeting each other’s relatives? If you’re at this significant level of involvement, then your gifts should reflect it.

For him: combine several nice but not overly expensive gifts: high end sweater, shirt, ties, a bottle of champagne or spirits. Look for something that shows you recognize his passions. If he’s into sports, spectator or participatory, give something along those lines; i.e., if it’s golf, specialty golf tees, balls, shirts, or other memorabilia. If he’s into music, tickets to the symphony or opera, and/or a couple of CDs. If he’s into art, a coffee table art or photography book. The key at this stage is a reasonable quantity of gifts that reflect your knowledge of him as a person, minus the extravagance that you might display post engagement or marriage.

Don’t give him an expensive watch or other jewelry at this stage of the relationship. You may wind up spending more than he does and feel off-balance. It’s best not to give a guy a ring until he’s given you an engagement ring. It can make him feel uncomfortable if he’s not yet ready to make that level of commitment to you.

What if you’re not at the level of I Love You and future talk? If you’re dating but not yet deeply involved or even exclusive, then your gift giving should reflect it. Keep the quantity to one or two smaller (not highly expensive) gifts. For him: A bottle of his favorite spirits, wine, or champagne. If he doesn’t drink and he’s into reading, a beautifully bound book or journal works. Music CDs, gourmet gift baskets, chocolates all work. Don’t load up on quantity of gifts at this level of relationship - keep it simple. The key at this stage is limiting both quantity and extravagance so that you don’t tilt the relationship off balance.

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about where you are in the relationship. Then, talk about it. That’s right - bring it up in a straightforward way so that you can discuss appropriate gift-giving. Agree on a similar budget. Money is one of the top reasons that couples split later, and that is primarily due to the discomfort of talking about it. Imagine the ease with which you will discuss money matters in the future if you can begin today!

Gift giving at work can also be a breeze if you keep it appropriate to the level and history of the relationship. The longer you’ve known someone and the more you’ve shared personal and business successes, the bigger or more extravagant the gift. If you want to thank your mentor of fifteen years who helped you climb the ladder of success, a designer sweater or high end costume jewelry may be appropriate, perhaps combined with that expensive bottle of champagne. Or, take her and her husband to dinner at an expensive restaurant. If you want to acknowledge your executive assistant (separate from year end bonus), something much lower in scale is appropriate. Be careful about giving gifts that are too personal to male colleagues- he might get the wrong idea. Keep things simple and professional for your male peers and team members.

Copyright 2007 by Nina Atwood, All Rights Reserved
written for w2wlink.com