Many people believe that negotiation means coming to the table like a tough guy, ready to squash the other side. True that it has happened many a time. Necessary however? No.

Is there an alternative to win/ lose negotiating? There is. Win/win negotiating does not mean being passive and losing. It simply means that while you can acquire what you need and want, usually the other side has a different perspective and different needs and wants that can actually be met simultaneously.

For example, Anne and Betty are from different companies and they are negotiating over lemons. Anne’s company makes lemon juice and Betty’s company makes lemon scented candles, Anne would need the inside of the lemons and Betty would need any part of the lemons; peels would work. The waste from what Anne needs works for Betty.

Often times there are complementary needs. If parties approach negotiations looking for opportunities to meet complementary needs, there can be a win/win result.

One technique, in addition to the approach of sharing information and looking for complementary results, is the one text method. The one text method is where the initial rough agreement or set of ideas are written down in rough form and then the parties go back and forth allowing each to tweak the one document until each party agrees that it is workable.

For example if the lobby of a building is being redone and one department wants it one way and another department prefers a different way, they can each tweak the plan until both are satisfied.

In each case there will usually be give and take. The idea is that the main needs and wants are met for each party, and that usually the main needs and wants are complementary. For more information, see "Getting to Yes," by Fisher and Ury, 1991, an excellent handbook that discusses win/ win negotiations and details the one text method.